I have been laying in bed for an hour. I took some pills about 2hours ago, I think I am finally immune to Benadryl. It hasn't helped in a few days.

I signed up for an accounting class, it starts Tuesday. I went to the bookstore on Friday, my book wasn't there. I'm going back tomorrow I hope its there. At least the class is free, and the book will be 20% off; thanks to Michael being an employee.

I think the female issues are finally coming to an end, they have been horrible for the last few days but today was alot better!

I went to church tonight. There wasn't a sermon, instead someone from Russellville was there talking to us about a 12 step program to help us get closer to God. I am going to sign up for it. I also think I am going to sign up for a Wednesday night bible study. I have to get over my problems, and there is only one way to succeed.

I applied for a job at RMCC, the Bookstore Manager. I don't really want it because I want the CDC job but they haven't called and student loan payments go up in January, so something has to be done ASAP.

Friday night we had a "Date Night", I think it went really well. I hope they both don't go jumping in head first, but they are grown ups they can do what they want I guess...Michael brings up some good points, that I don't seem to think about so when he's not around I fell really good about my match-making skills.

January we will start to try again for out diamond, hopefully with the phone call I get this week will have some good news, hoping for just a baby aspirin a day..cross your fingers.

I guess that's it for tonight.
xo
Tina

We went back to the dr. last week. We are no longer pregnant. I have cried everyday for a week. We went back today, had an Ultrasound, and cervix scrap..ewww, ugh. I don't know what to say except that I had a feeling something bad was going to happen. They drew blood today, to hopefully figure something out. What if my deepest darkest fears are true and I can't have babies?

I'm have serious religious issues over this. I don't know what to say. I had a feeling something was wrong, prayed about it, pleaded with God, asked him to fix it. He didn't. He let another one of my babies die. And for what? I have nothing to say but my Faith is fading. He has been doing this to me since I was 7 years old. 20 years of misery.

Maybe its me, I did something.