The Shoes

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish ...I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some PEOPLE are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No PERSON deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger PERSON.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a PARENT who has lost a child.

Author unknown

ok, so much as happened..I was going to write about it last time but was just too sad.

I finally felt Ben move, it was April 27th. I thought I had felt him several times before that but was unsure if it was him or not..but matter of factly it was definetly (sp?) April 27th.

Michael felt him for the first time Thursday morning..May 19th.

There was other stuff but now I've fogotten it..dang it.

I don't know what it is about me..my guess is hormones. I don't know? I miss everyone whoever was close to me.

One day last week I had a horrible heartache for Aunt Pauline, a couple days later it was Papa. Today is Aunt Lois. I have been shopping online for baby ideas. I found a chair like she used to have in her dining room and have not stopped crying since..I loved those chairs!  I wish the baby room was bigger, I'd get one to use as a rocker but alas it's too small